A crumbling ruin of irrelevance….
By Angus Richard
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At dinner the other evening, immersed in grandchildren, I found myself a spectator in a career path discussion where I was totally sunk without trace!
How many readers will comprehend the ambition of becoming a “Scrum Master”, the excitement of a “Full Stack Developer” or the fulfilment of a “Social Media Sentiment Analyst?” What happened to the yearning to be a train driver, policeman or fireman, I asked myself?
We are told that 85% of the jobs students will be doing in 2030 do not exist today. This may excuse the fact that I had simply no idea of what they were talking about and felt significantly past my use-by date.
I was certain that my attempts to add value to this conversation would lead to a gentle encouragement for me to go back to my village as they were missing their idiot!
So I remained silent knowing that it was better to be thought a fool rather than opening my mouth and thus remove all doubt.
Indeed I suspect the gathering thought I had the intellectual vibrancy of daytime television!
Later, as a crumbling ruin of irrelevance, it occurred to me that so many words I grew up with were no longer in common use and thus were clearly being consigned to the dustbin of history.
There is a growing vocabulary which is now a fading part of my life and so much of its content is now alien to our future “Cloud Engineers” and “Machine Learning Designers”.
If you are ancient like me you can prove it for yourself when next time you fall into a conversation with teenagers or grandchildren challenge them to answer the following:
What is: a Stoker, Night Cart, Tram Conductor, Telegram Boy, Darning, Hop Scotch, Cat’s Cradle, Water Closet, Dance Card or Crystal Set?
Ask them to describe: an Eddison Screw, Skittles, Liquid Paper, a Bayonet Fitting, Creels, Tommy Steele, Bath Racks, Big Hand, Little Hand, Trunk Calls and Skiffle Groups.
Get them to explain: Trafficator, Slide Rules, Quills, Crank Handles, Blotting Paper, Noon, Fountain Pens, Half a Crown, Brothel Creepers and Brace and Bits.
What is the meaning of: Frowned Upon, A Piece of Work, Pulling the Chain, Comeuppance, To Dial, May I Please Get Down, Dessert Boots, Fly Strips and Pillar Boxes?
Ask them to describe: Cruet Sets, Plimsoles, Collar Studs, Twin Sets, Ship’s Decanters, Carving Trees, Step-Ins, Serviette Rings, Pinafores, Liberty Bodices and Cold Duck.
What are: Wellingtons, Furphies, Macs, Hoi Polloi, Woodbines, Trugs, Dooverlackies, Pumice Stones, Hurdy-gurdies, Florins, Ben Ean Moselle and Long Drops?
And finally please explain: Shorthand, Fly Buttons, Golliwogs, Cap Guns, Shag Pile, Page 3 Girls, Slide Shows, Bookends, Bex Powders, Floppy Discs and Manners?
Sadly, their ignorance of these words will probably do them no harm as they embark on a journey to become “Concierges on the Happiness Desk of a Creative Hub” or something equally obscure and inexplicable to the likes of “Yours Truly,” “Yours Sincerely” and “Yours Faithfully!”
