Contributed by Lola Vollbrecht
By comparison Sam and Slim were talkative.
They were making camp one night near the Murray and Sam wet to fill the billy, while Slim made up the fire.
Sam returned and after several minutes spent rolling a cigarette she said, “There’s a chap down there”
“Oh”, said Bill. “Getting fish is he?”
“No”
“Getting rabbits then?”
“No”
“What’s he getting?”
“Drowned!”
The Texan was touring Australia and found himself in a country pub one Saturday afternoon telling all and sundry about the size of things back in Texas.
“Why,” he said “back home I can climb in the saddle and ride all day, and still not reach the other side of the ranch.”
“Yeah,” said the local downing his beer. “I know what you mean – I’ve got a horse like that too!”
There was an American sailor in Sydney during the war, and an Aussie was showing him around.
They came to the G.P.O.
The American said, “how long did it take to build that, Aussie?”
The reply was, “about twelve months”.
“It would take six months in the states”.
Then he came to another building.
“How long did it take to build this?”
“About three months,” said the Aussie, trying to foil the American.
“In the states it would take six weeks.”
Then they came to the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
“How long did it take to build that, Aussie?”
The Aussie scratched his head and thought for a second.
“Gosh, mate, it wasn’t there yesterday!”
Portion of a conversation emerging above the din in a country pub:
“What, him a chef? He couldn’t hold a job cooking at a lost dog’s home!”
How can you tell when an Aussie invalid is getting better?
He tries to blow the froth off his medicine.