UniSC researchers think they’ve cracked the code for crocodile ‘love language’.
This is after popping a couple of microphones into an Australia Zoo enclosure.
Let’s hope they’re not looking to publish this in Nature journal, because here’s a peer review: What a croc.
The research somehow concludes that ‘hissing’ and ‘grunting’ noises created by one of the world’s most feared creatures is not, as commonsense would suggest, a big ‘bugger off or I’m going to eat your face’, but in fact it’s a little romantic foreplay. Apparently crocs seek consent as well.
Lols. Even funnier is the finding that the noises and head slapping are made in ‘mixed context’, meaning it’s extremely hard to tell if it’s naturally aggressive way, or in fact you’re about to be swept off your feet for a lifetime of webbed bliss.
Best not to wait to find out I would have thought.
The researchers conclude that crocs are more social than previously believed. Another false flag. We’re not social. We deliver millenia-long equal opportunity hate of the hightest order. You don’t survive this long any other way.
BLOW ME DOWN
BACK from camping and what is it about humans’ inability to rough it.
Our neighbours decided to pull their leaf blower out each morning to clear the leaves from their site. You are kidding me. Interestingly I raised my concerns to my esteemed colleagues and it turns out everyone does it and I’m the problem. I quit.
TEEN TANTRUM
I FOREWARNED the anticipated hell on earth I expected to go through erecting the tarp and tent for our annual camping expedition. And wouldn’t you know it, but I had to do it in a heatwave. There were five 16 year olds though so with everyone pitching in, the whole ordeal was pretty straightforward … said no adult ever. Three hours later and I actually thought I could be having a heart attack.
Have you ever camped with multiple teenagers? Pass. I’d rather spend every waking moment trying to keep a toddler from drowning.
SEE THE LIGHT PEOPLE
Speaking of camping – we go to NSW every year and every year I come back wondering why this state can’t pull its finger out and do two things – introduce daylight savings and allow supermarkets to sell booze.
