Really bad analogies written by high school students
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
He was as tall as a 6’3 tree.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on holiday in another city and Home and Away comes on at 6.30pm instead of 7.00pm.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two humming birds who had also never met.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended a slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature beef.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock. Like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
Punography part two
Energiser Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn’t like my beard at first. But then it grew on me.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
