Ten hilarious jokes for nerds
1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
2. The past, the present and the future all walk into a bar at the same time. It was tense.
3. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the barman gives it to him he asks, “How
much?” The barman replies, “For you – no charge.”
4. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
5. Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses here!” Argon doesn’t react.
6. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says, “On no! I think I lost an electron.” “Are you sure?” Yes, I’m positive.”
7. An infectious disease walks into a bar. The barman says, “We don’t serve your type here.” The disease
replies, “Well you’re not a very good host.”
8. There are ten kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
9. A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if they can help with the luggage. The photon replies, I
don’t have any, I’m travelling light.”
10. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark.
Save the Pope
Interesting year 1981: Prince Charles got married, Liverpool crowned soccer champions of Europe, Australia lost the Ashes, and the Pope died.
Interesting year 2005: Prince Charles got married, Liverpool crowned soccer champions of Europe, Australia lost the Ashes, and the Pope died.
Lesson learnt? The next time Charles gets married, someone had better warn the Pope.
A talk with the Almighty
A man takes it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. As he identifies the different shapes, he begins to talk with God.
“God,” he asks, “how long is a million years?”
God answers, “In my frame of reference, it’s about a minute.”
The man asks, “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God answers, “To me, it’s a penny.”
The man thinks about this for a brief period, and then asks, “God, can I have a penny?”
God answers, “In a minute.”