Perfect hearing, perfect life?
An elderly patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After a short time, he meets the doctor again.
Doctor: “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.”
Patient: “Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I’ve changed my will three times!”
The coffin maker’s dilemma
A man who makes coffins for a living had his vehicle break down on a delivery. Not wanting to be late, he decided to put the coffin on his head and walk.
A policeman stopped him and asked what he was doing and where he was going.
He said: “I don’t like where they buried me, so I am relocating.”
The policeman fainted.