You can’t help but laugh at these
- What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam. - What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh. - What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener. - There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t. - Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way. - Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said:
“Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.”
The other one shouted: “Wow, a talking muffin!” - I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust. - What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1 - Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the “no-bell” prize. - Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it. - What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They’re both purple except for the rabbit. - Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks:
“What’s your favourite type of music?”
The other says: “I’m a big metal fan.” - Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks. - Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space. - What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality. - A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there,” the bartender yells out.
The man turns around:
“It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”