Talking Dog A guy spots a sign outside a house: “Talking dog for sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner: “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
Come Quickly An almost hysterical man calls 000 and yells: “Please come quickly! Kailey is pregnant and her labor has started, it’s really intense!” “Is this her first child?” asks the operator. “No, it’s not! It’s her husband!”
Really? When I was ready to pay for my purchases at the supermarket, the shop assistant said: “Strip down, facing me.” I did just as she had instructed, making a mental note to complain to management that these sorts of security measures seem to be taking safety procedures to the extreme. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. I do think they need to make their instructions a little more clear.