Crazy drunk
Jeff was fast asleep in his at bed at 3am when he heard an urgent knocking at the door. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he made his way to the door.
“Can you give me a push,” asked the man at the door. Jeff looked at the man, thinking he looked a bit drunk, slammed the door in his face and went back to bed.
“Shame on you,” said his wife on hearing the story. “You remember on our vacation how our car got stuck in the middle of the night and that man helped us. Go out there and push his car.”
So Jeff gets back out of bed, opens the door and calls out: “OK, I’m here to give you a push, where are you?”
“I’m over here in the back,” came the voice, “on the swing.”
LOL
John angrily looked at the text he had just received from his mum. It read: “Professor called to say you failed the course, LOL, Mum.” How could he have failed? And all his mum has to say is that she’s Laughing Out Loud?!
Fed up, he texted his mum: “What was with the LOL?”
“I just wanted to send you Lots of Love because I know how disappointed you must be.”