A warning to those who think drugs are cool
Contributed by Jack Wilcox AM
MALENY author, Jack Wilcox AM, reached out to GC&M News to share a deeply personal insight into the devastating impact the drug ‘ice’ had on his own family.
By bravely revealing some of the harrowing details that contributed to the ‘pointless death’ of his son, Jack said he hoped that by sharing his message, even one family could be helped, making it worthwhile.
The apartment is eerily quiet and strangely empty.
No clothes in the wardrobe, no food in the fridge, nothing except an empty wine glass and a bible on a small table. A man lay on the floor, a pillow under his head, seemingly in sleeping mode.
He is my youngest son, Stephen. He is dead.
Stephen was addicted to the drug ‘ice’ (methamphetamine hydrochloride). Living alone, in Melbourne, he had been dead for several days.
Finally, after several suicide attempts and years of cruelly tormenting himself, his family, and his friends, this tortured soul was now at peace, free of his addiction.
A subsequent autopsy found no trace of drugs in his system and could not establish the cause of death describing it as ‘unascertainable’.
Failure to find traces of the drug can be discounted. Any ice would have probably dissipated during the two-to-three-week gap between his estimated death and the autopsy.
Linking the sterile, funereal scene in his apartment with his references in his recent emails, to suicide as an obvious option, made me wonder about the cause of his death.
He often said he would not take suicide while his parents were alive because of the trauma it would cause them. Easily said in his saner moments but during an unhinged ice rant. I wonder.
His emails were frequent and lengthy, sometimes for hours at night.
So many in fact that I did not read them all. Reading them now, for the first time, is painful as some were a cry for help – an example – ‘no one is listening to me, I am crying as I write this.
I have no friends, no job, no money an addiction I can’t beat.
His messages were sometimes lucid but often rants of drug-fuelled, obscene attacks on his parents and friends.
This lost him a lot of friends and estranged some family members.
The shadow of violence was never far away.
On one occasion, he torched several vehicles, spilling petrol on himself resulting in third-degree burns which put him in hospital for several weeks.
On another occasion, I was visiting him in Melbourne, we had a pleasant dinner and then walked to a nearby pub down some darkened streets. His mood changed suddenly. He came up behind me and said, ‘You know, if I had a knife, I could kill you’.
I thought he was joking except for the cold, malevolence in his voice. The recent massacre at Bondi had all the hallmarks of an ice rage.
It reminded me of that night in Melbourne.
It was never mentioned again.
Stephen had been a clever successful lawyer before his addiction. But he recently handed in his practicing certificate as a lawyer becoming a depressed lonely man dependent on drug dealers for his next ‘hit’.
Stephen’s demands for money have been endless. Over the years Stephen’s drug problems have cost the family, several hundred thousand dollars.
I did not understand the evil depths of this drug until an email from Stephen describing the different forms of addiction.
He said drugs, like heroin and cocaine, are physical addictions from which you could recover with enough discipline and help.
Ice, which directly affects the brain, he described as a mental addiction — ‘you don’t have the will to give it up’. This is not a lecture to parents by an old man grieving for his son.
It is a WARNING to those who think it’s ‘cool’ to experiment with drugs – playing Russian roulette with the embrace of something much more evil – ICE. For the addict, a lifelong journey into hell.
For family and friends, misery and despair, as a loved one self-destructs.
If you or anyone you know needs help:
In an emergency:
Call 000
Lifeline on 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
Other counselling and support services include:
National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline 1800 250 015