POTTY MOUTHS
IT’S hard to pinpoint the exact beginning of the decay of society but a new marker comes courtesy of the marketing folk at camping retailer BCF.
Case in point: Having taken the family to our favourite swamp for Christmas, I’d finished hammering in the last peg of what might as well as been a Barnum and Bailey circus tent when the youngest cheerilly asked if I was having “B, C, F’n fun yet?”.
Am I having what now? I answered calmly – Not particularly but thank you for asking – before raising my issue with Mrs Croc, namely being that the advertising which posed a similar sentiment, was just simulated swearing and surely kids shouldn’t be repeating it.
I was told to stop being a prude and to get on with the camp set-up.
I canvassed the issue with the kids as well who had literally no idea what I was talking about.
So as we’re sitting around the campfire, basking in the serenity of tens of thousands of mosquitoes, midges and bugs I look up from the glow of the fire to see everyone staring into their devices and yell out for everyone to “get off your B, C, F’n phones!”. “Dad, how rude!” they yelled. Go figure.
WON’T BE A MOMENT
Speaking of phones I don’t know when the end of days is coming exactly, but every extra second I’m forced to wait for a driver to finish updating their social status while I’m indicating to take their space, brings it infinitely closer.
It’s a scourge that I’m not sure has a solution outside of electric prods or perhaps a good keying.
But these days you can’t be certain that the perfect space that should be yours will be as a backlog of vehicles bank up behind you.
Back in the day you’d get some eye contact to confirm the impending departure as the parked driver would go out of their way to get moving quick smart. Nowadays if someone doesn’t make any eye contact you have to start worrying.
You just know they’ve got to check their 20 social media sites, emails, messages, get the latest news and watch 30 Tik Toks.
In the meantime the waiting driver is developing their own tick. That is nobody’s idea of b,c,f’n fun!
Please be considerate.