Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says, “Crikey, there’s a bloke here who is 152!
Paddy says, “What’s his name?”
Mick replies, “Miles from London.”
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning. The wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, ”How should I know, that’s 200km from here!” and hung up.
The husband said, “Who was that?”
The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast was clear.”
Just before the funeral service, the undertasker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”
“98,” she replied, “Two years older than me.”
“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.
She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”
A man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head, so the doctor says, “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”
Contributed by
Eunice Prickett
