All in the translation
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he spent years teaching the natives, in their language, when he realizes that the one thing he never really taught them much was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, “This is a tree.”
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, “Tree.”
The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, “This is a rock.”
The chief looks and grunts, “Rock.”
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly says, “Man riding a bike.”
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both.
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, “My bike.”
Contributed by SadSak
Terrible burns
A married couple were in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his skin. However, the only skin that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
When the surgery had been completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her fiends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty.
One day, she was alone with her husband and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”
“My darling,” he replied, “think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
