Just for laughs April 30 edition

Just a tap
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the still shaking driver said, “are you OK? I’m so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.” The badly shaken passenger apologised to the driver and said he didn’t realise that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle the driver so badly. The driver replied, “No, no, I’m the one who is sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for 25 years.”

Little Johnnie
Little Johnnie’s neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, “what a beautiful baby.” The mother said, “why, thank you, little Johnnie.” Johnnie said, “he has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?” “Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.” “That’s great”, said little Johnnie, “coz he’d be in big trouble if he needed glasses.”